⭐️ I want to not want you

why is it so hard for me to let go of you when you weren’t mine to begin with? your attention isn’t a reward. i shouldn’t constantly crave your validation. i feel further from you than ever before.

do you always make people feel this special then take it all away? sometimes i deny myself of thinking that i feel more lonely when you’re next to me than not at all. i wanted us to work so badly but you never let down your guard. maybe i never really held you in my hands. every memory we could’ve had is a distant fantasy.

you were so good at pretending you cared. love isn’t supposed to feel cloudy. love is not doubt. it’s warmth and comfort. it’s trust in each other. i wish you missed me even half as much as i missed you. maybe you’d pick up the damn phone and call for once. maybe you’d ache like i do.