2019, oh 2019.

big dreams

kissed my best friend on new years

took a lot of pictures of my feet

almost started selling them

got too high but never felt often enough

remembered things I didn’t want to remember

couldn’t forget them again

became selfish

tried to cook, hated it

ordered in way too many times

met some witches, did some witchcraft

hated my brain

ugly cried and yelled at my parents

finally made peace with my family

went to Iceland alone

believed in fairies

called myself a fairy

oh, maybe I really am psychic

got addicted to cigarettes

got a tattoo

got a Furby

lost a roommate

felt rage like no other

watched girl, interrupted like it was my job

found real magic, got bored of it

skipped classes

dropped out of school

got another tattoo

believed in family again

started having dance parties in my room

drank alone

got a job fixing leggings

loved it until I didn’t

that’s just how I am

felt proud of myself

felt like I had a lot of money, but never felt like it was enough

wanted to change

realized I could speak and that I wouldn’t catch on fire for being honest

started being more honest

started writing more

met myself for the first time

then a second time

until I lost count

more tattoos

moved back home

quit my job

got a new job

believed in sheer luck

fate?

felt like an adult finally

until I didn’t lol

surprised myself

laughed A LOT

stopped planning everything

forgave myself

forgave a lot of people

waiting to forgive more people

patience

unconditional love