Helen’s 2019

It was the most fabulous and horrible year to date.

Went to Sweden to see my brother.
Went to Copenhagen solo.
Tried to fill something in me.
Was in a rut with myself.
Was cheated on and lied to.
Found out the truth.
Had my heart broken into a million pieces.
Had my world turned upside down.
Drank many wines.
Cried a ridiculous amount.
Listened to a lot of jazz.
Couldn’t watch Netflix.
Lost my appetite for food.
Ran away to New York to see my sister.
Got stuffed with carbs and wine.
Got burnt and sweaty.
Was hit on for the first time single. Hated it.
Didn’t want to trust ever again.
Learnt to love myself.
Loved to be by myself.
Poured my energy into my friends.
Cooked my first meal again. Pasta. Obviously. Saw a therapist.
She made me feel whole. And then she got me mixed up with another client. Meditated an absurd amount of times.
Went to Portugal with my best friends.
Cuddled and kissed them.
Reignited my love of the ocean.
Felt free with the wind on my face.
Forgot about my life back home for a bit.
Moved in with myself.
Ate many frozen pizzas on my floor.
Laughed about it.
Spoke to myself all the time and the objects in my house.
Thought I was a bit crazy. Loved it.
Spent all my money on furniture and stuff.
Fell in love with my friends.
Cried on my birthday in a crowded restaurant. From happiness.
Felt happy again for the first time.
Listened to the music I loved at 16.
Danced all the time. Naked.
Started reading again.
Met somebody.
Got out of my comfort zone.
Lost somebody.
Felt pain again.
Felt love from a cat.
Spoke about my feelings a lot.
Felt grounded.
Felt out of touch, too.
Felt hungry for something more. Unsure what that is still.
Made arancini balls.