A list of my things I’ve lost

I think

about all the things I’ve lost in my life. About where they might be now. Who they’re helping. Are they alone and scared? Are they at the bottom of some stranger’s bag, or some roadside ditch, or at the back of someone’s brain?

Here are some things I’ve lost:

• My snoopy toy on a high way somewhere between Sydney and Crescent Head in 1998. I was very sad about this. I hope he found a good home.
• That little green pendant she gave me. The dance floor of Guatemala that claimed it. The friendship that was lost with it. 
• My 2022 journal. Got too high and left it an expensive wine bar after seeing some art. I really hope someone is enjoying that and I hope the two drawings I did were as good as I remember.
• One shoe. In Peru. I don’t need that back. 
• My tiny bear necklace from my Nan that was lost in that bed that night.
• Andy. I wasn’t ready to loose him. I hope he is happy and getting tubed every day, wherever he is.
• My Grandpas ring. Left on his bedside table. I think he can have that piece of me.
• My favourite black jeans. I just genuinely don’t know where the fuck these are and I want them back. (Update: These were located in Sydney in my friends apartment. They didn’t fit as well as I remembered).
• My creativity, sometimes. 
• My money, all the time.
• My keys, every 5 mins. 
• My voice, but I’m learning how to hang on to that.
• My worries, happy to be loosing them.  
• My happiness, for a brief moment. When that went missing, everything felt lost. But I found my my way back home and found new ways to be happy.
• My sunshine. That was bad. 
• Her book. It’s somewhere, just not sure where.
• Myself. In that relationship. 
• My direction, sometimes – but I think floating is ok too.