A Need To Feel Whole

By Mia Puttick, November 5, 2020

Read time: 4 Mins

A Need To Feel Whole Image

Contentment is

living as a whole being, enjoying the safety that state provides and seeking anything that enables the completeness. I think it has always been people’s want in life without consciously recognizing its necessity. This last year has filled in the gaps of this ideal for me. Removing the constraints of time and of the 9-5, I’ve been unwillingly afforded more room to question what I need to feel true to myself.  I’ve always circled back to this ideal of being whole but have never really contemplated why I’m so enriched by it. It began to ferment in my mind when I was 10. A family friend, who is wise because he’s rich, once said; ‘Your life is like a square’. My naive 10 year old brain really went ‘???’ in real life. Continuing; within the four walls the boundaries hold only enough room for the people, things and actions that are important to you and make your life complete. When the square is full but you want change something within it has to give. Either it leaves your boundaries entirely or diminishes in size. His concept did touch on something we all question but I believe he was missing a key element. 

See to me it’s a circle not a square. It’s the unit of life and the structure of our world. It’s like THE supreme necessity. There’s food, water, clothing, shelter, safety and then there’s this wholeness. We find such comfort in being complete sometimes I question if it’s an innate need or an external force. And so with that in life many of us search to feel complete in love. But really we’re just looking for some extra part that will firm the boundary of our circle. It’s malleable you see, just like the units we’re built from it’s permeable to energies that flow in, out and around us its only purpose to keep us moving forward. Anything that bonds with this flow are poisonous to the soul and block the potential you hold. Maybe growth develops from this stage and we learn what is dangerous to ourselves. You might latch onto the danger at the time or maybe you’ll steer clear, only ever knowing if it was the right choice in hindsight. 

All these external qualities impact our wholeness and the environment really manipulates it. People think manipulation is bad and whilst it’s usually pretty black and white, there’s always this small grey area that maybe the manipulation is protecting you. Sometimes that’s comfort enough in times of crisis as the false sense of completeness shape-shifts into being what is necessary in a lost state. However, it will change. It’s not really true to anyone’s natural state of self so why would it stick around?

Maybe the contents change to stay alive and keep us from the mundane affairs of the ordinary. When we are balanced the circle is firm, easy and enriched. Those feelings of wholeness will maintain themselves for a while but even then it’s not enough. It needs adaptation. The ability to change to what is different is really what progresses us as people. Contentment is possible but it’s never a solid state. I think every time you know wholeness it’s more recognizable to your conscious self. You’re more able to understand what is right for your soul and therefore you can search for it more easily. But, the next time it’ll be under a new set of variables and external manipulators. Your edges will be stronger against the poisons and your flow will be charged with the knowledge of what you need. It’s a hopeful idea that we believe we can constantly be complete and know ourselves. Yet, I think there’s greater significance in choosing to soften the edges and find ourselves within the flow of the grey areas. 

All these external qualities impact our wholeness and the environment really manipulates it. People think manipulation is bad and whilst it’s usually pretty black and white, there’s always this small grey area that maybe the manipulation is protecting you. Sometimes that’s comfort enough in times of crisis as the false sense of completeness shape-shifts into being what is necessary in a lost state. However, it will change. It’s not really true to anyone’s natural state of self so why would it stick around?

Maybe the contents change to stay alive and keep us from that mundanity of the ordinary. When we are balanced the circle is firm, easy and enriched. Those feelings of wholeness will maintain themselves for a while but even then it’s not enough. It needs adaptation. The ability to change to what is different is really what progresses us as people. Contentment is possible but it’s never a solid state. I think every time you know wholeness it’s more recognizable to your conscious self. You’re more able to understand what is right for your soul and therefore you can search for it more easily. But, the next time it’ll be under a new set of variables and external manipulators. Your edges will be stronger against the poisons and your flow will be charged with the knowledge 

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