I don’t remember the first compliment I ever received,
but I do remember the first negative comment about my appearance. Which in itself is sad.
“What’s up Doc” a comment made about my overbite. That, as I sit here typing as a 32-year-old, I remember vividly to this day.
When I first started in makeup it was really before “getting your makeup done” was a thing. Girls would ask to have a little bit of bronzer and mascara, and that was it. They didn’t want to not look like them, and that was the point. Makeup was there to enhance, not to act as a mask.
But then makeup became a thing. And looking like someone else was an even bigger thing. Covering who you were became cool, which really wasn’t cool.
Over the years I watched girls go from fresh faced and unique to over-drawn and just like the next. Girls didn’t want to look like the best version of them, they would rather look like a lesser version of someone else. And that was sad.
In some ways makeup became like armour. And the more someone had on, the more they had to protect. Whenever someone stopped believing in themselves the eyeliner got thicker. If someone made a comment about their appearance, the foundation requests became heavier. And as someone who used to have a lot of fake hair and a deep love for foundation, I got it.
The ironic thing is, these very girls that I had to cover to help feel stronger, were the ones that helped me see that hiding behind foundation wasn’t the answer.
The more they wanted to cover, the more I wanted to fight them. I wanted it to go back to the way it was in the beginning, everyone who sat in my chair had their own beauty, and I wanted them to see what I saw, not what society told them to see.
Every single girl was beautiful, without my makeup skills. They were all beautiful long before they met me.
I wish I could thank every one of them, but even more importantly, I hope they now see what I saw. I hope that every girl who sat in my chair and showed me a Kim K smokey eye is somewhere getting her groceries without even a swipe of mascara.
Because I stopped wearing my smokey eye a long time ago. Oh, and I fucking love my bunny teeth.