Catia’s 2019

I woke up
pregnant.

Spent two weeks not looking at my phone.
Enjoyed my family. Read a new favourite book. Fed horses. Ate lots of crumpets. Felt sick.
Picked wild blackberries from the lake.
Watched my belly grow. Ate porridge.
Made a promise. Added two new rings to my hand.
Ate the best cake ever.
Watched my brother get married and had the best time you could have sober.
Found out my best friend was pregnant.
Turned 30. Felt ridiculously fortunate to love so many good people and be loved by so many good people.
Our friend died, the world went dark.
We all cried when we saw the new heartbeat.
It took a long time to see light again.
We bought a house. Cuddled bunnies. Ate cookies.
Every day the sun kept coming back up.
I jumped on a trampoline in Byron with a belly. Sorry Vivienne.
Said goodbye to my old beast. Got a shiny new car. Missed the dusty old one.
Packed up our house and moved back home.
Louis came into the world. I loved him without distraction for six whole days.
Vivienne came into the world. I entered into a secret club.
I felt weak. I felt scared. It felt like forever.
I learnt to get back on my feet. I learnt a new kind of love. We made a new kind of friendship.
I enjoyed wine again. I found out our family is growing, again.
I watched Oscar come into the world and saw birth from the other side.
Our hearts felt bitter sweet.
We went to the country. We slept in and drank wine.
The sun came up. I heard my favourite sound.