Did You Really Need to Stoke the Fire?

Taboo: prohibited or restricted by social custom. The result of a world full-to-bursting of clashing values and unshakeable traditionalism, of secrecy and embarrassment. The concept is plain and simple; widely understood.

What isn’t so plain and simple, however, is the way in which the weight of the ‘taboo’ rests disproportionately on the shoulders of every female-identifying person.  

Don’t wear that top, your bra strap is showing. What, do you want to look tacky?

Hushed conversations in the kitchen about your birth control pill. Shhh, your father is just down the hallway – he doesn’t need to hear this about his little girl.

Pads clutched in clenched fists on brisk walks to linoleum bathrooms. You cringe as you open the sanitary bin and recoil when the evidence has been disposed of, like you’ve been bitten by a snake.

Religion class, third grade. The man up front has a hoarse voice and spiky hair the colour of cloudy days. You feel your eyes glaze as he blathers on about chastity, purity. Your normal teacher sits quietly at her desk, her lips pressed into a thin line.  

You don’t shave your legs? Really? Doesn’t that make you feel insecure?

You examine your newly bought lingerie in the shopping centre, smiling, excited to own something so pretty. Your grandma slaps your wrists and twists her face into a grimace, appalled. The men in the food court don’t need to see your ladythings, dear.

I can’t swim today, sir…no, really – it’s that time of the month. You feel your cheeks redden as your Phys Ed teacher screws up his nose. He doesn’t meet your eyes.

Girls don’t even masturbate, right? You hear in passing, casual playground conversation amongst boys. You clench your teeth and push your tongue against the roof of your mouth, hard.  

Your grandfather swerves in a near miss on the highway. I bet that driver was a woman, he says, cursing. Your mother tells you to let it slide.

Let it slide.

It’s something that young women hear a lot, I would think.

Don’t make a fuss. Did you really have to say that? Did you really need to stoke the fire?

Taboo.