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FAIRY DIARIES

By Danielle Jung, February 14, 2022

Read time: 2 Mins

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I AM AN EMOTIONAL ADDICT.

I HAVE PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY TO PROVE MY LOYALTY TO MYSELF. NO ASSUMPTIONS. NO EXCUSES. NO EXPECTATIONS. I CRY WHEN I AM HAPPY BECAUSE I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I AM NO LONGER AFRAID OF WHO I AM WHEN I AM IN POWER. THEY ASK ME WHAT IS WRONG. I HAD NEVER KNOWN PEACE! MY PEACE CANNOT BE MADE IN A LAB. BUT MAYBE GROWN ON THE BALCONY. MY PEACE IS THE SUN. MY PEACE IS THE MOON. MY PEACE IS SUNDAYS IN THE LIVING ROOM PREFERABLY WHEN EVERYONE IS HOME. I USED TO TORTURE MYSELF AND FEARED CONFRONTATION. NOW I SHINE MY SHOES WITH SPITE AND TAKE DIRTY SHOTS IF THE WEATHER FEELS RIGHT. I THOUGHT I WOULD BE DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF BUT TO BE QUITE FRANK IT TURNS ME ON. I PROTECT MY ECCENTRICITY AND I PAY FOR MY ELECTRICITY. I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES BEYOND MY BANK ACCOUNT AND GOALS BEYOND MY CAREER. I HAVE PEOPLE TO LOVE AND IDEAS TO EXPRESS. I AM FIRE. I AM RAIN. I AM SATURN. THIS IS A MOCKTAIL! I AM THE SPACE BETWEEN THE END AND THE BEGINNING. WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS LIMITLESS? I AM THAT. I AM PICKING UP THE PIECES OF INNOCENCE LOST. I CANNOT HEAR YOU. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP. THIS YEAR HAS COST ME EVERYTHING. BUT WHAT I FOUND GAVE ME NIGHT VISION IN EXCHANGE FOR HINDSIGHT. IT WAS THE BEST INVESTMENT I HAVE EVER MADE. I CANNOT STOP DANCING. I AM CRYING! I AM NOT IMMORTAL! I JUST DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR VALIDATION AND I LIVE FOR YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT. MY CONFIDENCE HAS NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE. RESPECTFULLY! I HOPE THIS SINKS IN TO YOUR BONES. MY FEARS ARE ABANDONED. THEY HAD NO PLACE TO GO. SO I LET THEM STAY WITH ME FOR $5 A NIGHT. I TURN OFF THE WIFI AFTER 11PM AND MAKE SURE THERE IS NO FOOD IN THE FRIDGE. MY BLOOD HAS BEEN DISCOVERED TO POWER AIRPLANES! I AM NOW SOUGHT AFTER BY THE GOVERNMENT. THEY HAVE NO IDEA THAT I AM A HOLOGRAM. I HAVE FACED MY MAKER. JUST FOR A SECOND TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL. DO YOU NEED MORE TIME? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I AM A RECOVERING ADDICT. I FIGHT THE URGE TO RUN AWAY TO STAY LOYAL TO MY LIFE. I DO NOT SPEAK FOR ANYONE, YOU MUST BE SO PROUD OF ME. 

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