February Horoscopes

Your mantra for the month.

Aries

In order to get what you want and feel pretty about it, use your manners. Pretty will be reciprocated.

Taurus

When you’re feeling transparent. Perhaps a pale smudge of green, although there’s nothing wrong with one colour…You can be more. Hum to yourself: I am all of the colours of the rainbow.

Gemini

There are things that are obvious to everyone, including the kitty cats that surround you. Your eyes are foggy. You forget that you’re obviously magic. Write it on your window.

Cancer

Channel that airy fairy. You’re allowed to Cancer your way through this month. Don’t bruise yourself up, you’re just being dumb and feeling stuff.

Leo

The mermaid shells mumble how to cast your spells. You can turn the volume up. Crush the shells up. Use them as tea party plates. Everything that happens this month is due to the fact that you’re casting spells. (with) Mermaid shells.

Virgo

Wyd? You’re currently doing fairy things. In the fairy tree. With the fairy leaves. Listening to Charli XCX. This February, you exist for the fairies. Yourself.

Libra

Reminder: fill your spaceship’s fuel up. Give yourself a full tank, in case of emergency. It won’t kill you to be a little more prepared.

Scorpio

A lot of people will tell you what they think you should do with yourself this month. You can simply remind them to leave you alone by saying let me eat bread. Space to rise, please.

Sagittarius

Tell your brain to brain search itself: Move on.org. There’s better websites to surf this month. Move on, young Sagittarius.

Capricorn

Sleep in. Wear less makeup. Sleep in again. In phases of temptation, write down “Wear less makeup” four times. Remember also, makeup doesn’t necessarily mean coloured paste and black ink.

Aquarius

Feed your tamagotchi. Listen out for those little beeps. Little beeps have a whole little world.

Pisces

You’re shiny. You’re not drowning. Butterflies fly not only in the sky, but in the deep blue sea with you. They’re not suffocating. Remember: My wings are fluttery and buttery. Perfectly paired with bread. Shiny bread.

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