I Drive Through Discipline and Desire

Desire for more. Discipline to push my needs away.

Discipline to do the work. Desire to stop. Discipline to keep doing. Desire to give up, discipline to walk away.

Desire to be needed. Discipline to meet myself half way.

Desire for company. Discipline with solitude.

Desire for an an explanation. Discipline to accept the unknown.

Desire to message you. Discipline to save the thoughts to my notes app instead.

Desire to look at your social. Discipline to not, only at the best of times.

Desire to go where I know you’ll be. Discipline to choose where I’ll feel free.

Discipline to stay with you forever. Desire to never want to feel so alone again.

Discipline to wait. Desire to move on.Desire to only remember the good times. Discipline to remind myself of the worst.

Desire to touch you.
Desire to look into your eyes.
Desire to talk to you. To ask you if I’m going to be ok.
Desire to tell you what happened today.

Desire to say fuck it, let’s do it. Discipline to know that love isn’t always enough.

Desire to break free from our pasts. Some kind of fucked up discipline to stay in the familiar.

Desire to travel the world, with you, with anyone, or on my own. Discipline to do it either way, anyway.

Desire to fix you. Discipline to create space, return to myself, so that you can return to you.

Desire for you to trust how much I loved you. Discipline to know it’s not my task to convince you.

A desire for you to come back to me. Discipline to know you will when you come back to yourself. Discipline to know I won’t accept anything else.

Desire to run away and forget everything. Discipline to know this is growth, the path.