i have so many photos on my phone

By Jade Smith, April 5, 2020

Read time: 2 Mins

i have so many photos on my phone Image

– thousands.

my inbox is a mess. my makeup bag is in shambles. there’s too much stuff.

i’m working on cleansing myself.

washing every part of my body: between my toes, behind my ears.

taking care of my skin: cleansing, moisturising, using face masks. styling my hair every day, even though i’m in isolation. donating clothes i don’t treat with the love they deserve.

piece by piece i’m returning myself to the person i know is inside.

unfollowing people from high school. unfriending toxic family members. washing my sheets. cleaning my makeup brushes. putting on lip balm. drinking more tea.

i’ve also been writing in my diary a lot, just to pull things out of my head. sometimes i just draw, or stick in some cute stuff i found while organising my drawers.

people say it’s not all butterflies and rainbows – so i’m going to make it all butterflies and rainbows. who the fuck says i can’t?

i’m scrubbing away every single filthy thing that stops me from being happy.

in the current climate of the world, i don’t have the mental capacity to keep dealing with shit that makes me unhappy.

this is a major period of organisation for me. not of work, school, files, whatever. i’m organising myself, cleaning up the mess that’s in my head: those belong over there. that needs to go. i want this somewhere i can see it.

because all of these little things i’ve been doing? each little thing makes me feel a bit more like me.

you know that fantastic feeling you get after you wash your hair for the first time in too long? it’s making me feel like that.

just try it. cleanse yourself: however you want.

you might find that under the grime is the person you always knew you were.

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