I wrote this at 5 am while drunk off a bottle of pre-made sangria :-)

I’ll say it first, I love you.

I’ve loved you for a long time.

Sometimes I’d get confused, who the fuck knows what love is?

I didn’t have the best examples for it growing up, love was something you said to get something back or something out of it. Love wasn’t an act, it was just words.

I was only ever exposed to love when it came from my brother always putting me first, ensuring my happiness as his little sister.

Love is something I’ve struggled with.

I met my friends, and love was them. It was every second I spent with them, every time I’d disagree with them or accidentally be really rude (note to self: be kinder).

Love was learning to forgive everyone I was mad at, growing up.

Love was no longer caring about what other people think, and just being yourself.

Love was me.

Love is still me, learning to love me more.

I’ll admit, some days are hard. Love is hard.

When I met you, I hadn’t felt much of anything, for a long time. But somehow, you made me feel comfortable, sleepy (in a good way), warm.

I love you. A lot.

I don’t know how yet, but I just know that when I think about you, I think about how annoying you are, and how much I love you.

And how comfy a person you are.

I wish we were more transparent with each other and more upfront with how we feel. But I think we’re both confused, I know I am.

I’m not sure if my love for you is platonic or not, I just know I want you in my life for a long time.

You will never know this because I don’t want you to know, in case you ever decide to leave.

So for now, here I am, I love you.