May Horoscopes

Pinch and a punch for the first day of the month. Make your cellular device pretty with a wallpaper by @gooplia

Aries

You’re okay if this sad stays. Thinking it will stay reminds you that it will not. Feelings in real time. Sometimes you’re a fox. A night cat.

Taurus

This month you might feel like an outline. A line scribbled around the outside. Nothing filled in. No one wants to dive in. Keep singing.

Gemini

You have better things to discuss. Clever kitty. Very witty. I guess you’re just not meant to give people what they want. 

Cancer

Forgetting to finish sentences. Becoming bored with them. Wanting to cry if one more person looks at you. Still chewing all of your nails off. You’re as old as you are. Let the pot plants do the talking. 

Leo

Having an opinion can be hard. Stop trying to out smart everything. Allow a slow unfold. Pretty things get away with all of the things. 

Virgo

Drama queen. It’s okay not to talk but you should call some people, some time. It has never been simple. Make a mind map. 

Libra

Vow to never get lost. You don’t have to go anywhere to go somewhere. Along the way there will always be things that are a little soul crushing. Don’t run too far. 

Scorpio

A phone bill you need to pay. A book you want to finish. A pond you want to snorkel in. People always stare through windows. They look like fools. They don’t care. 

Sagittarius

No one is easy to figure out. Be everyone’s favourite bore. Friends that remind you of nice things are a nice friend. Here are some reminders: Chet Baker exists. Birthday cakes with rainbow sprinkles. The old school kind. Egging things. 

Capricorn

Don’t eat plane food on a two hour flight. Why did you want to run away from home when you were little? Has the answer changed? 

Aquarius

Don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t worry about that person right now if your solution is that there’s another. Don’t talk over that person today. 

Pisces

Make at least one mistake a day. You believe in the after life and you will cook there like Bjork. The Froot Loops are floating.