OK Great

Today is my 19th birthday.

It is also the one-year anniversary of getting my left nipple pierced.

This time last year I was very dissatisfied.

I still am.

But in a different way and for different reasons. And if that’s not progress, I don’t know what is.

Eighteen’s theme song was ‘The Child Is Gone’ by Fiona Apple.

Nineteen’s will be ‘Why Try To Change Me Now’ by Fiona Apple, or maybe ‘Jonathan’ by Fiona Apple, because this year I am celebrating being born with the most amusing, kind-hearted and bewitching boy, who answers to that name.

When he asked me to give him a hint for my birthday present – because with ‘clothes and makeup’ he didn’t want to ‘fuck it up’ – I sent him a link to my makeup product Pinterest board.

If you watch Gossip Girl this is basically the millennial version of Blair Waldorf putting diamond necklaces on hold at Bergdorf’s the day before her birthday so Chuck/Nate/whoever can go pick them up for her.

Shame I can’t call Sephora to ask which of these has recently been purchased.