On & Off Acquaintances

I don’t think it’s much of a relationship. We’re more on and off acquaintances. But that’s okay.

I met makeup when it was being produced as mini toys in Polly Pocket or when Lip Smackers were still being sold. The cheap eyeshadow applicator and the fake lipstick were my most prized possessions! I lived for that shit. I was practically the Ariel of thingamabobs during the preschool era. I guess I sort of miss that phase of my life because it felt more fun. But growing up meant using makeup seriously. Not as a toy in a playdate, but to really put it on your or someone’s face.

After a while, I felt that makeup had a more serious role in life, it was what made you more “womanly”. We used to have these big dance recitals for school and to prep for that event, all of the girls would get their mums, aunties, or older sisters to put makeup on them. I felt like that indicated makeup was more than the application, it was the connection you have with the people in your life. I never grew up with a mum, so jealousy sprouted out of those little blush and foundation touches. I was not an Ariel any more, but all my friends were.

Sometimes I still feel the same. With all these palettes, highlighters, and just basic big brands. I really felt the need to stick with the trend because it seemed like it was a part of womanhood. I used to have this major fear about not knowing how to apply makeup. It feels really scary when you’re clueless and missing out.

But, I let myself grow a bit, test out what I was comfortable with, and took a much needed trip to Melbourne. The truth is, I love my face sometimes. I also love it with makeup. But I’m so so so much more content with realising a lot of young people experience the same feeling.

I can use makeup when I want to, not when I feel like I need to. What I see in the mirror is not a reflection of who I am was a young woman, it’s merely a body and a face I need to start loving more than anything.