On Opportunity

On Opportunity

By Ana Tinc

Beauty Opportunity is in the eye of the beholder. 

You stare right into the 

pooling possibility.

It grows with your interest, your attention.

Your pupils widen

as it pulls you in

cascading strobe lights of a future

rushing before you,

like an end-of-life experience

if you were dying on a dance floor.

Showing only the juiciest

shiniest 

fullest

moments of maybe.

And in that euphoria, you say 

YES.

Yes.

Fuck yes.

I want that. Because

nothing can be worse 

than the dull of all that which I already know,

already have, already feel.

Nothing can be worse

than the brunt of the baggage 

I carry with me into each day

as if it’s not my choice.

The ones that, conveniently, 

never made the cut

in that sexy,

 life altering

moment of maybe.

No matter how seductive that opportunity is,

don’t lose yourself

don’t kid yourself

don’t convince yourself 

when the weight of your decision

has shed itself of your infatuation

and turns out to be

different

than you expected.

Hoped.

Longed for.

I give myself permission to change my mind.

With new information,

a gut feel,

a change in circumstance,

or just fucking because.

When that maybe 

isn’t as perfect as it promised,

I give myself permission to change my mind.

When my worth is being 

questioned,

my tongue, swallowed

and the only thing 

that ties me to this 

is that naïve, cup-half-full

yes,

I give myself permission to change my mind.