Realignment

12:07

I’m lying in my own bed for the first time in almost 4 months
12 hours ago there was excitement running through my veins, it always feels warm coming home.
Especially after 2 weeks of the new norm- distancing. Only a few suburbs away, but not quite home, and a few metres away for a few minutes at a time.

I felt safe and truly lucky to walk through the front door and be embraced by not only my brothers, but the feeling of familiarity.
We all sat outside in the sun and ate brunch together and it was so lovely.

But here we are, at 12:07, and I’m sure like a lot of my friends, and really, people all around the world, I thought about the present and the future and what the hell is next.

The present feels messy. I have never  been so aware and thankful for my health. But I miss my friends. And my extended family. And is it even possible for us or anyone to find a job at this point in time?
I had planned to be living the dream for a few more months but I’m back. And in my now empty suitcase there’s a lingering feeling of hopelessness. And I really can’t help but wonder, if a year of hard work was worth having my heartbroken by a virus?
See I told you, messy.

But I’m at a point of realignment. I haven’t decided what’s next and I’m not really sure how much of it will be in my control. 

Things shifted so quickly, that the rocky boat I was sailing completely tipped and I guess I wasn’t expecting to swim.I look around and there’s plenty of people in the water, some much deeper.
So we’re all just gonna have to swim, help each other and adapt.