Shelby’s 2018

By Shelby Hamilton, December 24, 2018

Read time: 5 Mins

Shelby’s 2018 Image

🦔 I believe I woke up. 

🦔 I thought I bought a nice bikini set for myself. A top and a bottom. I thought wrong and ended up buying bikini top x2. 

🦔 Unknowingly, I wore the second top on my bottom half. I was convinced it was a bikini set that did the trick, just a weird fit. 

🦔 Fell head over heels in love with a fictional ten year old.

🦔 Fell head over heels in love with the author of this fictional ten year old.

🦔 Tattooed myself for the first time in honour of both of these boys. 

🦔 I travelled too long on a train for someone I shouldn’t have. 

🦔 Something better came out of the train ride and I forgot all about the person I got on the train for. 

🦔 Realised that all I have to do is open my eyes. 

🦔 Completely forgot about maintaining that. 

🦔 Moved to Melbourne. I am now a two and a half hour plane ride away from my other home. 

🦔 Met Bones.

🦔 Got a job? Yep.

🦔 Got myself one of those cards for business. A business card. 

🦔 Haven’t given a single one of those out.

🦔 Had a surfing lesson and failed to apply sunscreen to one part of my forehead. 

🦔 Felt it was necessary to wear a bonnet to cover my poor, poor burn for a week afterwards. 

🦔 I think I learnt three more words. 

🦔 Drew a picture of a boy I didn’t even know because I absolutely needed to. 

🦔 I showed him. I scared him. 

🦔 Asked him out. 

🦔 He flaked.

🦔 Asked him out again and continued to do so until he could flake no longer.

🦔 Raged. Raged hard. 

🦔 Turned 20 or something. 

🦔 Felt 60 at times because I was scared of being 20.

🦔 Feel very 20 as of late. Dancing helps. 

🦔 Didn’t feel very funny. 

🦔 Decided that I’m naming my children Baby and Roosevelt. 

🦔 Flushed some money down a toilet. 

🦔 Didn’t care to think about where it travelled to.

🦔 Felt crushingly lonesome. 

🦔 Felt like the wind once or twice, too. 

🦔 I experienced parts of my days and months where I had no idea what in gods name I was doing.

🦔 I hid in the toilet. 

🦔 Offered someone a promise to break. 

🦔 Asked many questions. 

🦔 Paid my rent on time. 

🦔 Found some new values in the dirt just over there. 

🦔 Lulu Lemoned myself. 

🦔 Let my inner Techno Princess play. 

🦔 Had to have the four injections I thought I avoided for good at school. All at the same time. On the same arm. 

🦔 Fell down a flight of stairs. 

🦔 Took self portraits with and of my bruises. 

🦔 Watched my brother turn 18 and subsequently turn into alcohol poisoning. 

🦔 Kept a big secret. 

🦔 Cut all of my hair off. 

🦔 Felt like ME. TRULY ME. 

🦔 Changed my mind. 

🦔 Changed my mind again. 

🦔 Vomited my life up, in my purse, in the back of an Uber. 

🦔 Indulged. Did not regret a second. 

🦔 Probably got married.

🦔 Was excite to go to work more than once. 

🦔 Sneezed and jumped from July to October. 

🦔 Sneezed again. Probably cried over it. 

🦔 Wrote things I am pRoUd of. Including that. 

🦔 Almost killed the editor of i-D.

🦔 Took lots of photos of cute me sleeping. Not boys this year. 

🦔 Took my sweet ass time. 

🦔 Gathered up a lot of ideas. 

🦔 Did nothing with them. 

🦔 Felt loved because I wanted to be loved. 

🦔 Was convinced I didn’t need another boy in my life for as long as I lived. 

🦔 Became a girlfriend. 

🦔 Felt like how you’re supposed to feel when you dance with someone you’re meant to be dancing with. 

🦔 Overcame my fear of cinemas. 

🦔 Did not overcome my fear of chickens. 

🦔 Pasta. 

🦔 Had some blonde hair.

🦔 Had some purple hair.

🦔 Had some blue hair.

🦔 Have blonde hair on my head as we speak. 

🦔 Never cared about anything less than I did when my hair fell out due to excessive bleaching. 

🦔 I was mean and I did not apologise. 

🦔 Realised I was a morning person when I’m able to do whatever I want to do in the mornings. 

🦔 Felt really lame and boring. 

🦔 Curated a whole wardrobe of stolen boys clothes. 

🦔 Danced around the pile of clothes. 

🦔 Ate snails for the first time.

🦔 Cursed the French. 

🦔 Got what I thought I wanted. 

🦔 Checked myself before I wrecked myself. 

🦔 Discovered I could send messages via heart waves. 

🦔 Cried. Correction: howled, over my pizza. And in the back of an Uber following my soggy pizza. 

🦔 Wore a wig to dinner. 

🦔 Forgot things that I wanted to remember.

🦔 Remembered things that I wanted to forget. 

🦔 Unfollowed everyone on Instagram because they were hurting my feelings. 

🦔 Became a lot of things I never thought I would be. 

🦔 Grew a fear of my Apple watch that I can’t seem to fight. I’m giving it back to my mum. 

🦔 Bought a deck of tarot cards. The guardian angels are on my side now, fuckers. 

🦔 Felt like a grown up because for the first time I didn’t want to run away back to my mummy when I was faced with a problem. 

🦔 Felt like a cave boy. 

🦔 Forgot what I looked like. Panicked. Called mum. 

🦔 Stayed up all night dancing and ate ramen at 6AM for dinner. 

🦔 Went very red in front of a crowd of people. 

🦔 Forgot my PIN. Watched my bank card get eaten. 

🦔 Had to do something to realise I didn’t want to do it. 

🦔 Found out what it was like to melt into someone’s eyes. Life’s crazy. 

🦔 Tried to be a vegan for a month. Ate a delectable croissant the first morning of that month. 

🦔 Saw CLIMAX at MIFF. Felt like I was forever.

🦔 Did a handstand in a park.

🦔 Peed myself in a cemetery. Is that disrespectful? 

🦔 Didn’t say anything too embarrassing that kept me up at night. 

🦔 Managed to have someone fall in love with me.

🦔 Was absolutely devastated about it.  

🦔 Got another tattoo. I’m excited to hate it one day. 

🦔 Remembered to water my plant. 

🦔 Always felt better about something I was worrying about the following day. Or after a cold shower. 

🦔 Wore WAY less makeup. 

🦔 Defied science and lived to see another year.

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