You Always Forgot My Birthday

I told you things I never said out loud

I told you how I felt.
I told you how boys hurt my feelings,
I told you I needed a friend and you said you did too.
I let you see me at my worst, in a white gown on a drip.
I let you see me at my best, happy at the beach,
I let you be a part of my world and my family.

You always had a way of bringing the mood down.
You always made me feel like I wasn’t enough,
You always made me feel like I had to over compensate.
It always had to be about you.
You always forgot my birthday
But hated everyone that forgot yours
If someone had been through something, you said you did too, x2.
But then one time you did my hair and made me excited for a date.

One Monday you decided
Decided that you needed everyone to see
The pain that you were going through.
(Was the pain you put everyone through.)
You lied and fooled all of us. But in the end who did you actually fool?
You called me beside yourself, pretending to be at your worst, at the hospital you used to visit me at
Sitting outside in his tracksuit. A boy that you fooled like the rest of us
The lies never stopped. You lied to us all.
They hurt everyone
Everyone was hurting.
We thought it would be the breaking point for you, but you still haven’t stopped.
I thought you were a best friend.

6 months later an uber driver told me I had a big nose
He said big noses are a sign of strength
I still have nightmares about you but I miss your dog.
But my uber driver thinks I’m strong
P.S. he said you won’t fool him.