A Reflection on Life Right Now, and What I Wish My Younger Self Knew at the Time

A journal entry from my last day off before I went to Bigsound (Sep 4th):

I’m so glad to have a homebody day before staying away from home again. I did all my favourite things today except my fav coffee spot was closed. We started the day with ice coffees on the balcony (me & my housemates – Amy & Katie). I love the new energy Katie has brought to the house. I love women.

I think of my younger self associating girlhood with bitchiness, not all the time but there were definitely times where I had more male friends. I think that girls of younger generations feel much more supportive of each other & other women… but maybe that’s just another issue with how I viewed my conflicts with girlfriends growing up. I don’t think I was very good at recognising my faults or seeing both sides of an argument when I was younger. I probably got my stubbornness from my mum. I’m still working on it but I’m at least a bit more self aware now. Maybe I avoided working out my issues in friendships with women because they tend to communicate more openly & I grew up avoidant of conflict.

I’ve noticed the support I feel particularly from girls and women in the crowd when I’ve been playing as opening support for the Teenage Dad’s. I wish I had embraced parts of my femininity earlier. I hid from all of it & used ‘girly’ as a negative word. The sense of connection & community I so quickly feel with women who have each other’s backs & support each other is so special. I’m unsure if the world is getting kinder or I’ve just found a lucky bubble. I have so many strong, impressive women in my life. This is the kind of people I want to stay surrounded by.