human…connection?

We’ve been stuck on the same chord of the same song, it’s been too long now. 

Our minds on repeat- what we’ve lost, how it’s all fucked up, how we’re broken, will we ever find what we want (what do we want)? 

Reset the record, play it from the start. We forgot what it means to live. Maybe if we listen (closely) we’ll hear it differently, were we listening right the first time round? 

Eyes closed, running through the park (the one you always walk through when you’re texting on your phone)- feeling invincible, what can stop you now? 

Nothing is as it seemed a month ago- but you’ve felt this before – the rustle of leaves, the birds calling to one another, the kids’ chatter, your breath. At the back of your heart, walking home through the park after school, feeling the wind blow in a handshake with your grade 3 crush, and the thrill of reading after lights-out. 

Back to your childhood; a familiar faraway fuzzy feeling – perhaps the world is letting us play make-believe? 

This year was going to be the year, we all swore oaths. We’ll leave the habits, thoughts (and people) behind (maybe even reconnect with a few). Maybe it’s time for a career change, and to tick things off that bucket list. I want that job, I want that house, and I want to feel the feeling they say you’ll feel when you reach that milestone. We all look so happy online don’t we?

Then we couldn’t go outside. The trees burnt, we choked and we gathered, we felt a togetherness, but then we forgot. But life went on, that’s how it is, right?

Then we really couldn’t go outside. The Virus loomed, stay inside or you’ll drop like flies. Listen to the politicians, the medics, they say (but no one has any answers)? Life abruptly halted, we forgot what we were like before autopilot. You were booked out for next few months, and now are on the couch with your cat. Promotions turn into pay-cuts. Life is on hold.

Stuck in the house, unable to see your best friends (except at the supermarket). Getting to know yourself again. You read the news some days, other days you stay away from social media. One day you’ll go for a run and bake a cake, the next day you stay in bed. Some days you want to be all by yourself and stare at the wall, other days the group chats leave you buzzing and it is 4am, you are still awake feeling so full of life and love. At least you weren’t having that nightmare from a few nights ago, that must be a good sign?

Life feels more full when we play in a team (we don’t live for ourselves, do we)? We are inside to save tomorrow (you can see the Himalayas in Northern India now)! It’s okay to be sad sometimes (I feel everyone’s feelings). Sometimes your friends may be laughing, check in on them anyway. You can try to hack it alone, but seeing the smiles on the faces of those close to me, it makes me smile. Human connection feels different to me now. To the friends, family and lovers who carry each other no matter how heavy they are, that’s what unconditional love is- you show up, and that is beautiful isn’t it?

The book on your nightstand that you have been meaning to read for months now – read it; between the lines too, even turn the pages upside down- maybe it’ll make some sense to you that way. There’s no right or wrong way to be- but The Virus is bringing us back to the basics, where it was just about being human, and about what we mean to each other. I can’t wait to see where we are when this ends, can you?