Mercenary In Retrograde

By Gigi Perry, August 23, 2018

Read time: 2 Mins

Mercenary In Retrograde Image

I think we can all agree that

the biggest forces at work within our current society are, in no particular order, neoliberalism and Mercury in Retrograde.

The former never relinquishes its grip, however our favourite planet dips in and out of the retrograde period about four times a year, making our lives even more of a living hell.

A charming quality of neoliberalism is that it encourages us to conflate identity using our adversaries as opposed to our admirations and when Mercury appears to be moving backwards across the sky, astrologers urge us to direct our energies inwards and re-examine the most important parts of ourselves. The power of the inverse!

Since I am writing this at the end of one of these cruel cycles, I thought I would use the last of its influence to help craft my personal aesthetic. You still have to look hot in hell. Step one is to make an exhaustive list of all the things that are definitively not your style. Colours, items, trends, brands, products – whatever. Here’s mine:

Floral prints, fish net stockings, pleather, gold, embroidery or patches, boy leg underwear, denim cut off shorts, sneakers, lime green, blue denim, cat eyes, push up bras, purple, fake tan, liquid lipstick, cartilage piercings, hoop earrings, backpacks, jersey material, gingham, flatforms, racer backs, off the shoulder tops, I Am Gia, fruity scents, hoodies, contour kits.

Next, go through the list and for each item write what you would prefer:

Block colours, sheer black stockings, real leather, silver, printed graphics, g-bangers, miniskirts, loafers, olive green, black denim, glossy lids, bralettes or nothing at all, pink, natural freckles, lip balm, nipple piercings, odd studs, tote bags, silk or cotton, houndstooth, kitten heels, bow ties, puff sleeves, Daisy, woody scents, blazers, Fluff bronzer.

The last of these items coincidentally looks like melted Mercury, and just like magic, you are one step closer to knowing exactly who you are. Cya next time lil dude, thanks for giving me some taste.

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