My actions do have consequences.
When you’re young,
parents will often drill the concept of consequences into your psyche in quite
a punitive way. Like, if you don’t eat your vegetables you won’t get any
chocolate mousse after dinner, or if you don’t go to bed now you can’t go to
dance class.
However, as we start to
become adults, we gain more freedom and create the illusion for ourselves that
there are no more consequences. That we can do essentially whatever it is that
we want and get away with it. We start lying to our parents about our
whereabouts and get drunk on freewill, not knowing when to stop or how to,
either.
If you’ve heard the term
‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’ (a nerdy term used to
describe physics), you might understand why I’m bringing it up, and its
applicability to this matter. I’d best describe it as a rubber band effect.
Years of discipline and control that parents exercise on their children, to
different degrees, cause this action of disobedience and rebellion.
Some people haven’t
‘snapped’ yet, but I certainly did. As if possessed to make questionable
choices by some force outside my body that I couldn’t control. We often can’t
fathom the permanence of many of our choices. Sometimes we go into auto-pilot,
making mindless decisions without thinking them through, possessed by emotions
or an absence of them. It’s often only when the damage is done that we can
recognise these behaviours, surrounded by others engaging in them as well. We
fail to realise certain behaviours are self-destructive or are inhibiting us
from growth.
I found myself going out
all the time and taking substances, just classic run-of-the-mill teenage behaviours.
The problem was that because everyone seemed to be doing it, I didn’t think I
had a problem. Externally, it’s easy to confuse someone’s self-destruction with
self-indulgence, which made me unable to even recognise it in myself. If any of
this rings a bell, remember to take time for yourself. Practice self-care and self-confidence,
on a mental and physical level. That doesn’t just mean making up for sleepless
nights with a sheet mask – which I’m guilty of doing more than a handful of
times.
Don’t lose sight of who
you are. Your choices do matter, but if you happen to make poor ones it’s okay.
It’s often a learning experience, and you can always change your route.
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