New year, new problems, many notes.

By Erika Geraerts, February 7, 2024

Read time: 2 Mins

New year, new problems, many notes. Image

Another day, new month, year.

I forgot to do a recap of last. I didn’t have time to reflect until it felt too late to project.

But is it ever too late? Perhaps only to say sorry, to some.

Mentally, I’m in March. It feels like there’s never enough time and yet I still make time for sunrise, sunset, walks, wine and the people I love the most. My problems are fine, more than fine, if I’m being honest.

And at the very least, I’m never bored.

I’m never bored because I’m always thinking. And I think I’m always thinking because I want to always be learning.

These are some things I have thought, across last year – reflecting, and into this year, projecting.

I thought about this idea: that “I” can’t live with “myself.” How ego and self cannot co-exist, so I should stop trying to make it work.

I thought about the fact that with you, it’s a rollercoaster, never ending. I love the view from the top. But so often I want to get off. It terrifies me. Is that the point?

I thought about the irony that with you, nothing lasts forever and nothing is permanent, either. Do you understand, what I understand?

I thought about finding magic in the unexpected. How obsessing with fixing is so limiting, and surrendering is so freeing.

I think about every time that I want to run away, choosing to stay.

I think about how I need someone who can keep up. Not always, but most days.

I think about how important pancakes are.

And how simple an egg is.

I think about the part of me that wants to let go, the part of me that wants to go slow. Then there’s the part that wants to cling. The part that wants to go fast. The part that’s hiding.

These two parts feel like friends, one constantly reflecting, one constantly projecting; learning to talk, practicing this thing called life: this long walk.

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