No Longer Salty, Only Laughing

Dear ex:

I am no longer salty about the pepper.

You didn’t want to get a pepper plant with me because of how hard it was to maintain and the work required to consistently nurture it and its needs in order for it to grow.

I mean, it’s pretty ironic seeing as this is how you treated our relationship? 

No longer salty, only laughing. 

Dear ex-best friend: I am no longer salty about our fight.

You didn’t want to forgive and move on from our argument because it was too difficult for you to let go, and you were still angry I questioned your character and values when you wanted me to see you for you.

I mean, it’s pretty ironic seeing as you told people behind my back you didn’t like a quality trait of mine instead of just being honest with me, honesty being my biggest value? 

No longer salty, just laughing. 

Dear ex-close friends: I am no longer salty you spoke up too late.

You didn’t want to be in my life anymore because I put too much emotional venting onto your lives, and couldn’t self soothe.

I mean, it’s pretty ironic majority of my discussions were around people abandoning me without giving me a chance to change first? 

No longer salty, just laughing.

Dear ex-bosses: I am no longer salty you mistook my sensitivity as a character flaw.

You wanted me to be just like everyone else, adhere to your societal standards, contradicted your own words, bullied me into submission at times, and wanted me to stand in line behind you.

I mean, it’s pretty ironic you didn’t want me to take things personally when you were making personal attacks? 

No longer salty, just laughing. 

Dear ex-me: I am no longer salty for the way you handled it.

You did the best you couldn’t with what you knew at the time. You fucked up. At times they fucked up. Sometimes the world fucks up. 

I mean, it’s pretty ironic you say you want to move forward and grow when all you can do is look behind you and how much you’ve failed? 

No longer salty, just laughing.