Sometimes I Confidently Wear Nothing

Puti believes she’s some sort of fairy. She writes hoping her fairy friends will see her work and make contact.

By Puti Luamanuvae , January 25, 2019

Read time: 2 Mins

Sometimes I Confidently Wear Nothing Image

Q: What is your relationship with makeup?

A: The most understanding but complex relationship I’ve ever had.

Overall, I am very much in love makeup – sometimes.

From a young age makeup heavily influenced the way I saw beauty – from the glamorous Bratz dolls I’d have lying on my glitter covered floor, to the model’s faces at John Galliano’s fall 2008 ready-to-wear catwalk.

As a kid I had always seen makeup as an art form and as a friend, but inevitably growing up was different. It became something that I thought I needed in order to be as pretty as other girls.

This feeling would continuously duck in-and-out through most of high school, and in this time I became extremely insecure of certain features – my nose was ‘too big’, my eyebrows were ‘disappearing’, my freckles were ‘ugly’.

Makeup allowed me to change it, even though it was for insanely unhealthy reasons – it worked. Through most days in the school year I wore cheap mascara to make my lashes longer, eyebrow products, foundation to cover my freckles, and (very poorly) would try to contour my nose.

Slowly, I started to shy away from makeup as a whole, purely because I wanted my face to breathe. I realised my ‘need’ for makeup grew into an annoying chore which didn’t get along with my pores.

Makeup became less important. I don’t exactly remember the in-betweens of what happened from then to now, but I definitely became much more confident in my appearance with makeup – eventually growing into without makeup.

Although my relationship sprouted from negative and unhealthy feelings, it ended up bringing me more joy and acceptance – something that many relationships haven’t done for me as a young woman.

Now, I still wear makeup on the daily, but very lightly – clear eyebrow and eyelash gel, Fluff ; ) bronzer, and gloss.

Sometimes I’ll wear a full face with extra extravagant eye makeup and lashes.

Sometimes I confidently wear nothing. : )

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