The Depressive Bargaining Oscillation (acceptance is pink)

I’m waiting for a call and an e-mail. Universe, I have no idea what to do, except tell you that I am doing my best to have faith for the circumstances that I’m currently in. Even if it makes me short tempered and god I feel bad for being impatient with that old woman earlier today. Why do some friendships turn sour when they get too comfortable? Is it because they are secretly rats? Trying to be unapologetically honest right now because it’s the only thing keeping me from caring about going crazy. I don’t want friends who think their only job is to feed my ego. Or can’t tell the difference between themselves and their ego. There’s room to be human. But there’s plenty more room to grow. Will I be intimidated by that? Or inspired? Can we talk about where I end and where you begin without it being awkward? Can I tell you to change how you treat me without making you feel defensive about who you are? Am I asking for too much? I already know the answer to that question. It’s no, if you’re new here. I just want to create space for people to be themselves without losing my sanity. I’m already busy trying to be myself without losing my sanity. I just want to be treated well. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that, I remind myself. I think a part of that is knowing when to let go of people and ask to be let go of. Next time I won’t take 8 months to leave. It will take me 2 seconds. I’m signing up for boxing classes. I’m looking at boxing gloves. I saw a pair of pink ones and I’m in my head telling myself acceptance is pink.