think i might vomit

maybe

catching many long trains for someone who can’t be bothered to drive.

feeling like a glow worm reading sweet messages from someone who will be mean and cold to me next week. (i don’t expect him to do that, but in time it will become routine).

having lots of hope and excited tingles about things that maybe i made up in my brain. i can’t tell anymore.

feeling at a loss for words but appreciating the awkwardness. i think he just find the awkwardness awkward.

wanting someone else’s brain for more appealing thoughts. the grass is always greener. especially when yours is dead.

laying in bed wanting to vomit because a boy turned out to be just that; a boy.

feeling sore and numb. sore but numb. nothing feeling absolutely nothing.

vowing to stop attracting people who hurt me. still dunno how to do this one but yep i’m trying.

vowing to stop catching trains for someone who forgets to get me at the station.

but i will. no i won’t. probably will.