Also, This Fucking Sucks

This sucks because you said you loved me but you’ve left me. Even if I left you first.

This sucks that you think you’re the only one hurting. And that you don’t bother to check in. That your ego is bigger than your heart, the heart that used to care if I was ok when you knew I really wasn’t.

This sucks because we lost sex but now it feels like I’ve lost my best friend.

This sucks because I know what you’re feeling.

How I’ve made you feel. And for that, my eyes are sitting in a bath of tepid tears that still, no matter what, won’t overflow.

This sucks because I know what you’re thinking.

I wish this time you’d take your own advice and think with your heart, not your head.

And this sucks because it only confirms what I was thinking.

That you had an idea of me, and the only way I could be in your life was if I met it. And when I didn’t, you left.

You said you loved me unconditionally. But when I was honest with you and told you how I felt, you said you couldn’t love me. You had to leave me. It doesn’t make sense.

This sucks because we have a choice in how this ends.

Maybe you’ll only be gone for a little while. Maybe you’ll forget me for good next Wednesday at 3pm.

Maybe this is why I couldn’t stay. Because I knew you would leave one day.