Claire’s 2019

Thought that teenagers were inherently bad people

Realised that was a generalisation

First accidental ‘I love you’

Kissed too many people without emotional investment

Turned to divination

Saw a ghost

Had a breakdown. Dyed my hair blue. Turned out green

Named my fish after a Russian spy. He died. Had a funeral and everything

Got put in quarantine

Felt really alone in a hospital room

Had fever dreams

Blanked out a lot

Hallucinated while sleep-deprived

Made art while sleep-deprived

Showed people my art

Was someone’s muse

Bought too many crystal wine glasses from Salvos. Don’t let me buy anymore

Threw a full moon dinner party 

Finally got my negatives from art camp developed. I miss the school dark room

Went to a fortune teller. Got told that I’m going to take a lot of risks next year

Taught myself how to read palms

A lot of my dreams turned out to be premonition

Went to Melbourne. The first trip I’ve taken without my parents

Never made it to the MCA

Thought I wanted to be a curator

Thought I wanted to be a multimedia installation artist

Drank so much red wine

Kept a half-burnt copy of The Communist Manifesto in my car for too long

Burnt a lot of Cannabis incense. Got sad when I realised it wasn’t real cannabis

Drew on a lot of things with sharpie

Smoked hand-rolled cigarettes for the first time

Had another breakdown. Dug up my dead fish’s grave. I should’ve known he wouldn’t still be there

Went train spotting

Didn’t sleep for 4 days

Walked on the road at 3am a lot

Made a short film. I hated it

Lost control of my car

Was paranoid to drive again

Drank my friend’s tears

Over-used the word immersive

Sat really close to Stevie Nicks

Swallowed 5 cents

Slept in my car overnight

Took myself to the movies a lot

Cried in an empty cinema

Took day trips to the city

Watched my friends cut their hair over the bathroom sink

Got a playlist made for me

Told a lot of people that I think they’re a god

Used payphones more

Felt like I was being treated as disposable

Lost my friends

Felt morally conflicted a lot

Questioned whether I was a good person a lot

Questioned peoples humanity

Got into intense relationships

Recognised that I’m self-destructive

Got really bored with people

Didn’t say goodbye

I should’ve

Got better at registering when it would be the last time I’d see someone

Grew out my fringe

Drank a lot of juice

Performed an exorcism

Got into design school

Got ready to move out of my teenage bedroom.