Never more than a toe in to a culture

I was raised religious. Infant baptized and everything. Sprinkled, not dunked. I don’t go to church anymore. Something about being asked to stand up to sing just didn’t sit right with me.

It was taboo to speak up. It was taboo to question any of what we were doing. Questions are okay, until they weren’t. It was wrong to question authority. An air of silent judgement spread across the room if you brought up homosexuality. I don’t look down on religion. I don’t look down on anything or anyone. I just love to question things – can’t we just have a discussion without being God’s personal defense lawyers?

Like did Jesus fuck anyone? Does the Bible talk about how God created the other planets? Who’s Lilith?! Was what Satan did, really wrong, or are we just projecting? Did Jesus fuck anyone? How would you even know?

I don’t believe that there are certain topics that are inherently taboo. Sex and drugs are widely known as taboo in our society because what makes anything taboo is the culture surrounding it. The people. The crowd. In-group biases occur in social groups where the members of said group prefer people in the group more than the people outside of the group. Say group one more time.

It could be that they shun someone for speaking out against the group. For having a different opinion, for example. Or another for being unable to fit some criteria. Like if they were a different race, for example. And they might not even shun you out right, but how are you supposed to feel like you belong if who you are is exactly what they’re not? You don’t accept me, you’ve just accepted that you aren’t me. These groups also tend to heavily focus on similarities, and ignore differences. It’s also only a “difference” in the eyes of the group – anywhere else it would just be another characteristic of an individual.

I also grew up in a culture that heavily emphasized image and appearances. One where you were pushed to focus on academics and get a job that pays well. Have a PLAN. A culture that focused on surviving or thriving as a group – than alone. Summer after my first year of university, I revisited Korea with my mom for the first time in 11 years. I was encouraged to dye my hair not pink and it wasn’t appropriate for me to wear a sleeveless top without another article of clothing on top. Again, silent judgement – you would just automatically be labelled as “unconventional” if you didn’t look like everyone else. Unconventional comes with another slew of made up characteristics like perhaps you’re less studious or lewd. Perhaps your parents didn’t raise you right. All that from my hair and outfit choice? Bro, you writing a novel?

It was also taboo when I dropped out of university and decided to just do whatever I wanted. Uneducated, arrogant, impulsive, free-spirited, unmotivated. Just a couple of labels that come from a single choice I made because I decided school wasn’t for me for now. Or when I decided I wanted to pursue spirituality but refused to conform to a certain type or method of practice. Crazy. No respect for tradition.

If it sounds like I’m complaining, I am. I just think it’s so bizarre how one’s decisions to live their life could earn them so many… assumptions. Even more bizarre when it isn’t a choice – like sexuality for example. The problem isn’t the disagreeing necessarily. I think everyone is agreeable and disagreeable to someone. It’s about how you’ve been conditioned to react to the things you agree and disagree with. Do you feel some kind of relief or bonding? Do you feel the need to condemn or persecute someone? What if we just respected our differences. Or even better, let’s just talk about it without feeling the need to convert one another. Like how crazy is it that we are able to think and have opinions? Isn’t free will marvellous? Isn’t life just like sooooo surreal?

I think it’d also be foolish if I didn’t acknowledge that there are individuals out there who don’t have to be “unconventional” to the majority of society to be open-minded and think for themselves. There are people out there who don’t have to look like me, to see me as just another human being. Everyone’s just trying to live after all. For all we know, we only get one life, after all. I totally believe in reincarnation but Still, Just In Case.

Besides, we all have conditionings and prejudices. A healthy amount of skepticism adds flavour, I think. And we are all prone to being defensive over our own beliefs. I don’t think it’s realistic for a person to be 100% open-ended or open-minded. That would defeat the whole purpose of having your own opinions. But can you look beyond your upbringing? Can you look beyond what you think you know? Just a peak? Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, your fears did.

And I think that’s what it comes down to when we’re talking about taboo. Can you think for yourself? Or will you allow your irrational fears of the unknown manifest in to an inability to see people as more than their similarities and differences to you?

Anyways, I’m going go do some shrooms now.