Why i now HATE crocheting

Your mind goes to odd places when you’re faced with boredom. I, at times, cannot distinguish whether or not this is positive or negative. It’s safe to say that it can definitely be both. I use this story as an example.

I got so bored in quarantine, like most of us. I decided to take up crocheting. I take that as a positive, taking up a new hobby, especially in these uncertain times, that can’t hurt. But I have literally never crocheted anything in my life and I didn’t know where to start.
I put on my mask and went to spotlight. I had no idea how expensive wool was, plus crochet hooks, plus a bunch of other stuff that the nice lady from the youtube tutorials said I would need. I trust you when you say I need 7 different kinds of hooks to start, Melissa, but that shit isn’t cheap.
Oh well, $40 seems like a small price to pay when I am going to be making scarves, beanies, maybe a sweater when I get really good. THEN, I’m going to make my friends scarves, beanies, sweaters, maybe a teapot sleeve, a coaster, WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT? I am going to make EVERYTHING out of crochet until there is NOTHING on this planet that I cannot crochet. This is my new life. My blankets for my bed will be made out of wool, my house will one day be entirely crocheted. I am going to be a crochet master, that sounds cool. I am so excited

It has been about 3 weeks. I have made an uneven square of yarn that is not bigger than the size of my hand, and also a little party hat that fits on my pinky. I have watched upwards of 20 “absolute beginner” crochet tutorials that I for some reason cannot follow.
I didn’t understand it because it was my boredom that sparked this desire to crochet, but now that I’ve started, it is now my boredom that is crippling my motivation to practice and get better.

I’m hoping that my boredom will pick up where it left off so that the $15 single ball of yarn that is pink and sparkly that I bought will stop staring at me in disappointment from the corner of my room whilst I sit in bed soaking in my boredom and rewatch old breaking bad episodes.

I will pick up the crochet hook soon and I will make the best laptop sleeve, neck warmer,  gloves, whatever it is, that you have EVER seen. Watch. I just need to get less bored, or more bored… One of them.