It gets better, eventually. It takes years and a whole lot of therapy, but eventually, it gets better and it gets so much easier.
I know the dark days are overwhelming and they feel like they will never end, but they do. In 7-8 years you will be able to let yourself feel the bad days without them overwhelming you. You finally find medication that helps you. You gain a little weight, which is something you struggle with at times, but you always tell yourself it’s better to weigh a bit more and feel happy. You’ll learn how to truly, fiercely love yourself. You’ll become confident and realise that you are the only person that can help you get better.
People are going to come and go, it really is true that some friends and lovers are only a chapter in your story, even though they may feel like your entire world right now. You will learn to be alone, and be truly happy being alone. Funny, now you actually prefer being alone.
The distractions don’t help, not in the long run. You learn healthy coping mechanisms, although you still do turn to your unhealthy ones occasionally. But that’s okay, you are human and you are still learning.
I know you don’t love or respect yourself at the moment, but I promise there is a future version of you that radiates love and warmth and is eternally grateful for the strength you have.
I am so incredibly proud of you, and I am so excited for you to see how good it gets.